I woke up this Monday, not really feeling myself. I became even more frustrated at how I was feeling because I went to bed WITH this feeling… I prayed, read my bible and hoped that by the next morning, there would have been a shift and I’d be back to my cheery self again.
Not only did I wake up worse, I had not one but two “bad dreams”, to top it off a barely sleep these days as I find it hard to get comfortable with my bump getting bigger each week, not to mention midnight loo runs… So a combination of these things had me feeling grouchy and just blah! Not how I planned to start my week.
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I laid in bed trying to pinpoint what the actual matter was… I thought about my unborn child, my marriage, my finances, my business, my extended family and I came to the realisation that I was just plain old anxious! Anxious that the baby was coming and nothing is really prepared, anxious about whether I’m being a good wife, anxious about my family and their personally journeys with Christ, anxious about whether I’d make enough money to get Christmas presents for everyone this year, anxious that my business or career isn’t where I want it to be and doubting my abilities. You name it, I was feeling it! ANXIETY had found me once again.
Isn’t it crazy that you can go to church the day before and leave feeling revived and ready to face whatever, then the next day or even evening in my case feel crappy about everything? Thats because the enemy doesn't rest. The bible tells us that he “walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour” - 1 Peter 5 vs 8. So even when you think everything is under control and you let your guard down for one moment, boom, there he comes!
That was me last night and this morning, however I thank God for giving me enough grace to close my eyes and pray how I was feeling away… The bible also tells us to worry about nothing but PRAY about everything, and in that moment, I asked myself , “what are you even anxious about? God’s got you Alexis”… and always has. I don't need to be afraid or fearful of my tomorrow or even the next hour, because God is my strength and my refuge.
Shortly after I came across my husbands Instagram (@Jnr_Savage) stories and he NEVER talks on there, but whether he could sense the hurt in me last night, I don't know but his impromptu Monday motivational talk really resonated with me and by that point I was beginning to feel like myself again.
So why did I write this post? Partially because I needed to let out how I was feeling and partially to encourage someone out there. The enemy comes to distract you, to take your eyes off of Jesus and focus on your “problems”. Like is that really helpful? No, it isn’t. When Jesus called Peter to step out the boat and walk on water, he did, he trusted his Friend and obeyed. As he began to walk towards Jesus, the waves grew strong, Can you guess who that might of been trying to distract him? That’s right, the enemy, and because Peter decided to take his eyes off of Jesus and focus on the waves, He began to sink.
Thats what happens when we lose our faith and shift our focus on to be honest, things that do not concern us. We must remember in all our circumstances that God is in control, no matter how strong those waves come crashing in. And if you so happen to take your eyes off Christ and feel like you’re drowning in it all, like Jesus pulled Peter out of the sea as he began to sink, He will do the same for you, why? because God’s got you and He’s got this!
Stay blessed x
Peter Walking on Water - Matthew 14 vs 22-36
Worry About Nothing - Philippians 4 vs 6